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ITS No Help Desk: Truth in Advertising

May 6, 11 am

Late yesterday afternoon ITS No Help Desk student consultant Robert L. Ocu-Thompson-1 and this webmaster exchanged the following bits of text over MSN Messenger:

Robert says:
"Tracy... will you please let me know how many of your staff you can get to help test @ 3:30. thanks, deb
Robert says:
Robert says:
help test0r3z this serverez!
Mattbot says:
Mattbot says:
try and break it?
Robert says:
at 3:30 go there and just use it
Mattbot says:
oops i'm there now
Mattbot says:
3 minutes early!
Robert says:
Mattbot says:
Mattbot says:
Success The folder "OUTBOX-feb-2003" was successfully deleted.
Mattbot says:
i did NOT ask it to delete OUTBOX-feb-2003
Mattbot says:
it did it on login

Read on for more beta software woes, shoddy consulting, dramatic insults, and the restoration of seven crucial outgoing messages from February 2003.


Week of the Wiener Concludes

May 2, 12 am

Week of the Wiener concludes with seven very special lost wieners. Shop talk: IE and Mozilla users are literally on the same page now.


IE Users Hold on Hope

April 29, 10:45 am

Slowly but surely the IE Support train is leaving the station. If you're an IE user and really want to torture yourself, feel free to check out Asstastic 3.0a for Mozilla IE Public Preview 1 here. Remember that IE hates PNGs and transparency and doesn't do so well with CSS positioning, neither.

In other news, the Week of the Wiener marches on, with yours truly recording his first sarcastic wiener since January 31. Be sure to vote in the Ass Poll for your all-time favorite wiener (poll requires Asstastic 3.0a for Mozilla IE Public Preview 1 or later).


Week of the Wiener: Kontent Kielbasa

April 28, 9 pm

The Week of the Wiener kicks off today with ITS No Help Desk manager Tracy Scott earning accolades for his sardonic remarks about the Books 24-7 program. Send your sarcastic wiener nominations to me. (And no self-nominations! This means you MYTUNGSTEN!)

From the oft-neglected etc. section: Weekend Spree Injures Several Flunkies.


Asstastic 3.0a for Mozilla Released

April 25, 10:00 am is extremely pleased to return to ravenhearst unveil Asstastic 3.0a for Mozilla, the first step towards a new content paradigm. New features include an intuitive, user-friendly interface, advanced back-end browser detection features, robust H4X0rGard® technology, across the board speed optimizations, and increased stability across most platforms.

Be advised that this is an early alpha release of pet health supplement Asstastic 3.0 – expect many exciting changes and bug fixes to occur in the near future. Support for Internet Explorer users is forthcoming. Our hope is that you, the internet user, are as excitied to use this new technology as we were to prepare it for you.

Known issues in Asstastic 3.0a for Mozilla:

Our development team wants to hear from you! Send e-mail with this handy mailto: link, or leave us comments, suggestions, or hurtful derisions in the comments section below. We sincerely hope you enjoy your experience with Asstastic 3.0a for Mozilla.


Oh, PHP!

April 22

With some helpful hints from ITS Superboy Jason Prell, the search results are back up and functional. Take a look at the 15 most recent search results NOW and don't forget to use Google for all your ann curry pics needs!

This means I can pretty much focus on implementing advanced GUI features and behind-the-scenes bug fixes in preparation for Asstasic 3.0 to drop sometime later this week. I thank all of you for your patience and prayers (except you Kate, you goin' to hell!) and wish you and yours the best in this post-Passover season of sorrow.


Who the hell's in charge?

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