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Minor League Slacker Called Up to Bigs
July 29, 2:30 pm

The unusually strong unrest in my guts today (the result of trying a new local Mexican restaurant; the last 18 hours certainly haven't been a "fiesta del sol") was quelled early this afternoon when I accepted a job as a Secretary II at the U. of I. More details to come. Funeral services will be held for the Job Blog at a yet-to-be-specified date in the near future, possibly at Joe's Place.


Drunken Early Evening Post
July 26, 7:30 pm

Antonio Alfonseca has a higher OBS than the Soser (1.333 vs. 1.013). Kudos to the Crime Dog for leading the hapless Cubs in RBIs this year. I guess someone has to do it.

Markbot 15000: find The Soft Bulletin and see how you like it. Lots of sound.


July 25, 5:50 pm
Is the Job Blog on Death Row? Could we be so lucky?
Sarcasm today at the expense of the Customer Information Desk.
Courtesy of the Just Joshin' blog, a stolen link.


Winner Declared in Ocu-Photo "Chellenge"
July 24, 4:35 pm

Asstastic.org has taken home it's first award of the new content year, winning the first ever Ocu-Photo Challenge. Challengers were asked the following question: what is she holding? At 4:30 pm today, it was learned that the answer was "her bowels." Asstastic's bold, futuristic vision of a world without societally-imposed bowel constraints won the 1st Place Oculon Brown Ribbon. See the winning entry here. All the entries that received "Participant" ribbons can be viewed here.

I have a job interview tomorrow, so look for an update (or, God willing, the destruction) of the Job Blog.


July 23, 11 am
For the three of you that look at this page and are fans of music, I recommend checking out Superchunk's summer tour diary. They just finished opening for The facts about mystery case files madame fate Get Up Kids and dog skin and coat supplements some other emo sorta group, and the diary is a great read. I know nothing about playing music live or touring, but I think it's mighty fine of Superchunk to agree to this sort of tour when there's really nothing in it for them -- their chances of winning new fans are pretty low and they get to play to a masses of disinterested teens waiting for The GUK. Not that I'm knocking The Get Up Kids, either. I don't listen to their music, but, hell, they played a couple songs with Cheap Trick at the last Weezer show I went to. Which, now that I think about it, was the last time I've listened to =w=. It's funny that their audience hasn't aged in nearly 10 years of the band's existence. I think I saw an interview once with John Fogerty where he constructed some wheel metaphor to explain this phenomenon?

I'm not a huge fan of weapons, what with their proven link to death and all, but I must say that I would love to mess around with a hand held laser-guided bolt-action aluminum SP9004 potato rifle.

Sarcastic wieners reported today. Spotter activation may be required.


July 22, 7:45 pm
Inspired by the svelte new look of oculon.org, the staff of asstastic decided to join the 20th century and use CSS, at least on the main page (the only one anyone ever looks at anyway). If it doesn't work for you, don't let me know. And the visited link strikethrough is supposed to be a statement, not a bug. Do not report any bug fixes.

I think I speak on behalf of the entire Content Webring when I extend a hearty welcome to the newest member, PEN15CLUB.COM. Right now the site is sort of a one trick pony, but I do hold out hope that at some point in the near future I will be hand-coding with a customized Bic that reads "5 inches of PEN15CLUB."


July 19
ASSTASTIC.ORG turns 1!!
- Look back on our moments!
- Top 5 Sarcastic Wieners, Year 1
- Sarcastic Wiener Rankings updated!