"The spice of life is contained within." *gestures toward BW3*
-- Scott D. Iverson

Introduction & Background

What is a "Wing Challenge?"

Wing Challenge II: Buffalo Brawl. What do you think of dog vitamin c when you hear those words? If you answered "not very much" or "shut the hell up," then you have never witnessed the spectacle, the hype, the dizzying heights of glory, and the murky depths of defeat that surround a Wing Challenge. From the outside, it may appear to be a gluttonous eating contest. For those brave enough to live the life of a Wing Challenger, though, Wing Challenges are about hype, heat, staying in the kitchen, and pure one-upsmanship.

Our Contestants: Participation Up 200%

Our Contestants
Jason Wolcott
A late entry to Wing Challenge II, Mr. Wolcott's strategy was to rely on the elements of surprise and heat to outlast his competitors.
Mark Ahrens
Mr. Ahrens was the second place (first loser) contestant in Wing Challenge I: Tab Trauma and returned to this competiton, tanned, tested, and ready. For wings.
Warren Staal
The darkhorse entry in the contest, Mr. Staal kept 'em guessing by not making his intentions to participate clear until the very day of the competition.
Robert Thompson
The current and reigning Wing King, he held an official belt (until Tracy threw it away) and claimed official bragging rights.

Pre-contest Hype and Lies

It would not have been a true Wing Challenge had the preceding days (it seemed like months) been filled with numerous slanders, insults, and outright lies. Accusations about dress-wearing, heat-dodging, and crying contestants became commonplace on the ITS No Help Desk's internal student listserv, HDJunk. Take a glimpse into the heretofore sealed Wing E-mail Archives for a taste of the heat before the heat:

Date: Wed, 28 Aug 2002 01:03:16 -0500 (CDT)
From: Ocu-Hype Machine 3030
To: hdjunk
Subject: [hdjunk] Ok, no more beating around the 																																																																																																																								mystery case files return to ravenhearst walkthrough
 bush.

That's right -- I will reiterate my claim to double my margin of victory
over the last competition which would be winning by 12.

Anyone who wants to give it a shot had better speak up and  for the rest of you
who would rather cower in the corner instead of face me in head to head wing
competition I expect to see you all there on this Friday ~5 pm at BW3 to see the
one and only wing king throw his weight around in the ring.

Date: Wed, 28 Aug 2002 16:21:07 -0500
From: Mark Ahrens
To: hdjunk
Subject: Re:  [hdjunk] Ok, no more beating around the bush.

Yes, Robert needs to spout off whatever he can as he does not realize I have
a picture of him practicing for the competition.  Please note the look of
constipation, possibly impling he is about to poop his...well you can see
for yourself.

Date: Wed, 28 Aug 2002 22:41:09 -0500 (CDT)
From: S. Iverson
To: hdjunk
Subject: Re: [hdjunk] Ok, no more beating around the bush.

An ode to tards:

Mark always loses,
Robert pokes hot wing in eye,
Beer quenches all pain.

Getting the Kinks Out